Fifty Nifty United States
by JulietGivesUp
Summary: America goes to his kids' Spirit of America school assembly. Fifty states and two nations. This does not bode well for the normal human parents in the audience... America & the States


**This is just a little story about America and his states. I got the idea from when I attended my little sister's school assembly where all the little kids sang patriotic songs. This fic actually took pretty long because I had to search up all of the state's flags and flowers. Plus, I had to describe them. I was going to make each and every state more descriptive but there are fifty, FIFTY, of them. It gets pretty repetitive, let me tell ya. Mmm...I guess I was just plain old lazy. (Feel free to just skip over them, I suppose. Or just go to your specific state. Enjoy!  
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**Fifty Nifty United States**

_Dear Parents/Guardians,_

_We would like to invite you to our school's annual Spirit of America! Assembly. Our beloved 2__nd__ graders will be performing several of our country's patriotic songs. Come and enjoy the program as your kid(s) sing the national anthem and reenact celebrated scenes from American history. _

_Hot dogs, hamburgers, and apple pies will be served as refreshments and will available after the program. _

_We look forward to seeing you there! _

Mr. America crunched up the yellow reminder paper as he hopped out of his favorite red pickup truck. He took one last slurp from his extra-large _diet _coke before depositing it in a nearby trash can. The blonde man checked his watched for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. He hoped he wasn't _too _late for the performance. Okay, _maybe_ he was an hour late but either way it wasn't like it was _his_ fault.

The World Conference meeting ended a little later than he suspected, _plus_ his stomach started begging for fast food. So naturally, America had to stop by the drive-thru. How in the world would he have known that the school would serve food after the program? Oh well, no harm done eating an extra snack, he supposed.

Carrying a video camera on one hand and at least three other digital cameras around his neck, the awesome representation of the United States of America sprinted to the school assembly.

When America entered the assembly room, really it was just the gym with a raised platform, the previous presentation just finished their act. A young woman entered the stage and started introducing the next and final performance.

"For our last performance, our lovely second graders will be singing 'Fifty Nifty United States.' Let's give 'em a hand, ladies and gents!"

There was a round of claps as America hunted for his seat amongst the crowd. He spotted a chair adorned with precisely fifty white stars and also red, white, and blue ribbons. "DAD" was printed messily on a sheet of paper. America rushed to his seat just in time as the curtain rose. His timing was impeccable, as always.

The curtain revealed a cluster of kids (fifty to be exact) and they were lined up alternating girls and boys in five rows, for the most part anyway. Some of them refused to stand with the other so a few were switched around. Each and every one of them were wearing red, white, or blue; the girls were in dresses and the boys in button up polo shirts. The only difference they individually had were the types of flowers pinned onto their clothes. The girls waved at America while the boys flashed him nice, big grins.

America gave a loud whoop and clicked his camera. A man behind him tapped his shoulders and shushed him.

"Yeah, man. Sorry 'bout that," he whispered back, or at least tried to. The song began and the overly enthusiastic blonde recorded with his video camera.

_Fifty Nifty United States from thirteen original colonies. _

_Fifty Nifty stars in the flag that billows so beautifully in the breeze._

_Each individual state contributes a quality that is great._

_Each individual state deserves a bow, we salute them now. _

A wave of hands shot up in salutes. The fifty kids beamed, and sang in harmony.

_Fifty Nifty United States from thirteen original colonies,_

_Shout 'em, scout 'em, Tell all about 'em,_

_One by one, 'til we've given a day to every state in the USA. _

There was a slight pause, and then the song proceeded,

_A-la-bama, _the first girl in the fifth row waved a white flag with a red cross. A camellia was pinned on the side of her blouse.

_Alaska, _the boy next to the girl waved a blue flag with yellow stars arranged into the Big Dipper constellation. He had Forget-Me-Not on his shirt.

_Arizona, _a girl raised her yellow and red rays flag with a copper star in the center. She held a cactus blossom on her free hand.

_Arkansas, _a boy brandished a red flag with a diamond shape on the center. The word "ARKANSAS" was surrounded by four blue stars. Apple blossom petals littered his hair.

_California, _a girl with holding golden poppies waved a flag that pictured a grizzly bear and a red star.

_Colorado, _the boy raised his flag; a red "C" surrounding a golden sun. In his other hand was a columbine flower.

_Connecticut, _a girl brought her flag up. It had a gold and silver-rimmed shield picturing three grapevines. A pink mountain laurel was pinned on her shirt.

_Delaware, _the boy brandished his flag of deep blue and a yellow diamond in the center. In the bottom was the date when he ratified the Constitution "December 7, 1787." A peach blossom sat on his head.

_Florida, _the happy girl waved her flag; a red cross background and in the center was the state seal. She held an orange as well as and orange blossom.

_Georgia, _a boy raised his red and white striped flag with a blue square on the farthest top left side. A Cherokee rose was pinned on his red shirt.

_Hawaii, _a little girl wearing a yellow hibiscus flower on her hair excitedly brought up her flag. It had the Union Jack on the top left and white, red, and blue stripes.

_Idaho, _the boy waved his deep blue flag with his states in the center surrounded by a yellow band. He carried wild mock-orange with his free hand.

_Illinois, _a boy switched places with the girl next to her and lifted his flag with a majestic bald eagle in the center. He had a violet pinned to his polo.

_Indiana, _the girl huffed and waved her flag, it had a golden torch in the middle with yellow stars surrounding it. Pink peonies adorned her brown hair.

_Iowa,_ a boy lifted his flag the tricolor was blue, white, and red like the French flag, however there was a bald eagle in the very center. A single wild prairie rose was pinned on his shirt.

_Kansas, _the girl with a large sunflower on her hair waved her flag, her state seal and "KANSAS" written in yellow.

_Kentucky, _a boy brandished his deep blue flag, the words "COMMONWEALTH OF KENTUCKY" were in bright yellow. A golden rod flower was attached on the base of the flag.

_Louisiana, _a girl raised and saluted her flag; it was deep blue like most of the other flags with a white pelican and "UNION, JUSTICE, and CONFIDENCE." She had a white magnolia in her hair.

_Maine, _the boy brought up his flag with a gleam. It had the state's coat of arms and a picture of a farmer and a seaman. "MAINE" was printed in the bottom. He held a pine cone and tassel.

_Maryland, _a fair girl raised her elegant looking flag for it was based on British heraldry and it had alternating yellow and black patterns too. She had bright yellow flower in her hands called Black-eyed Susan.

_Massachusetts, _a boy waved his flag that had Native American carrying a bow and arrow on a blue shield. A mayflower was attached to his polo.

_Michigan, _a girl had apple blossoms in her hair like Arkansas and she held her flag; navy blue with an elk and moose around a blue shield labeled "TUEBOR".

_Minnesota, _the boy brought up his flag of deep blue with the state motto, "L'ETOILE DU NORD" meaning "the star of the north" in French, on a red ribbon. He held a Pink and White Lady's Slipper, his state flower.

_Mississippi, _the girl lifted her ex-Confederate flag with its blue, white, and red stripes and held white magnolias.

_Missouri, _a boy raised his flag that had red, white, and blue stripes and two powerful looking grizzly bears. In his arms were a bundle of Hawthorn flowers.

_Montana, _a girl brandished her deep blue flag with the word "MONTANA" in bright yellow. A picture of the state's natural beauty was in the center. In her hand were Bitterroot flowers.

_Nebraska_, the boy waved his flag; the state's seal in the center and March 1, 1867, is listed below to signify his admission to the Union. Goldenrods circled the flag's border.

_Nevada_, a boy brought up his blue flag with a small picture of a yellow ribbon that reads "BATTLE BORN," five-pointed silver star, and the word "NEVADA." He carried a small sagebrush with the yellow flowers still intact.

_New Hampshire, _a girl held up her flag that had the state seal featuring the ship "Raleigh" sailing near a large gray granite rock. The Raleigh was built to fight the British during the Revolutionary War. In addition, she had a wonderful bouquet of purple lilacs.

_New Jersey, _the girl next to New Hampshire raised her tan-colored flag with the great state seal. A blue shield and three plows were in the middle. She wore a crown of stringed violets.

_New Mexico, _a well-tanned boy brought up his bright yellow flag, an ancient sun symbol was in red in the very center.

_New York,_ a big grin formed on the boy's face as he waved his flag that had Lady Liberty and Lady Justice as they symbolized freedom and justice before the law. He had a rose pinned to his polo.

_North Carolina, _the girl with dogwood flowers on her dress held up her blue, red, and white colored flag. A white star lay between the letters "N" and "C".

_North Dakota, _the boy flourished his state flag that had a bald eagle holding ribbon. On the ribbon were the words: "E PLURIBUS UNUM" ("Out of Many, One"). A Wild Prairie Rose was pinned onto his shirt.

_O-H-I-O, _a girl proudly waved her unique flag for it was the only American flag that was not a rectangle. It had five red and white stripes as well as 17 stars and white "O." A scarlet carnation was on her hair.

_Oklahoma, _a boy held up a light blue flag that featured a gray peace pipe, an olive branch and "OKLAHOMA" in white lettering. Pinned to his blue shirt was a hybrid tea rose (Oklahoma Rose).

_Oregon, _the girl brought her flag; same shade of blue like most of the other flags but it had the words "STATE OF OREGON" in the heading. Interesting enough, in the back was also a picture of a beaver. _A certain Canadian in the audience gave an approving hoot._ She also held a peculiar plant called an Oregon grape.

_Pennsylvania, _the boy raised his flag; it was of two horses surrounding a shield. A bald eagle was perched on top of the shield. On the bottom ribbon was "VIRTUE, LIBERTY, AND INDEPENDENCE." Mountain laurels circled his wrist.

_Rhode Island, _a short, little boy brandished his white and yellow flag. A yellow anchor was in the center and a bright ribbon reads "HOPE." He carried a handful of violets in one hand.

_South Carolina, _a girl waved her white and blue flag. It pictured a crescent and palmetto tree. Like her brother Kentucky, she also had goldenrods attached to the base of her flag.

_South Dakota, _the girl raised her flag that was light blue and had the great state seal in the center and also the state's name. "THE MOUNT RUSHMORE STATE" was written in yellow. A purple pasque flower was on her brown hair.

_Tennessee, _another girl brought up her flag of three white stars inside a blue circle. A great, purple iris was pinned on her blouse.

_Tex-as, _a blonde boy pulled out a brown cowboy hat and waved his flag proudly. It featured a white, lone star and the colors blue, white, and red. He held a bluebonnet flower in the other hand.

_Utah, _a brunette brandished his flag that pictured a great bald eagle above a beehive. "INDUSTRY" and "UTAH" were written in white lettering. A Sego lily was attached to his polo.

_Vermont, _the boy held up his blue flag, like so many others, with the coat of arms, "VERMONT," and the state's motto, "FREEDOM AND UNITY" on a red ribbon. On the very tip of the flag's pole was a red clover.

_Virginia, _the girl brought up her state flag. A depiction of the goddess, Virtue, was in the center. The Latin words "SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS" translates to "thus always to tyrants." Ten Dogwood flowers encircled her fair hair.

_Washington, _a boy next to Virginia gallantly waved his green flag. A picture of America's first president, George Washington lay in the center. The flower that was pinned on his polo was a beautiful Pacific Rhododendron.

_West Virginia, _a girl brandished her flag white flag that was surrounded by a blue border. In the middle was the state seal depicting two men (a farmer and a miner) around a rock. "MONTANI SEMPER LIBERI", meaning "Mountaineers are always free" in Latin, was printed in a tiny ribbon below the men. She had a flower similar to Washington circling her wrist.

_Wisconsin, _the boy waved his deep blue flag. White letters spelled out "WISCONSIN" and "1848" when the state was admitted into the Union. The yellow shield in the middle depicted an arm, plow, hammer, pick and shovel, and an anchor. He carried a bouquet of wood violets in the other hand.

_Wyoming, _the last child was a girl holding a blue flag with a white bison in the center. White and red bordered the flag and the state seal was on the bison. A peculiar flower called an Indian paintbrush, stuck out from her hair.

"North, South, East, West in our calm, objective opinion… New York is the best-no! Utah is!"

"I reckon I'm the best out of ya'll!"

"Nu-uh! It's obviously me. Wisconsin is the best of the-."

"Shut yer yap cheese head. Everybody knows California is-."

"Who are you calling a cheese head?"

California whacked her brother Wisconsin with a surfboard hitting the states around her also.

"Ow! Cali hurt me! Make her stop!"

"Would you all quit acting like savage, little colonies!" Delaware lectured before Nevada kicked his butt from behind. The young boy flushed in embarrassment and put up his fist at his brother. All hell broke loose as the states punched, bit, and clawed at one another.

The Dakota twins pulled the Carolina twins' pigtails as Pennsylvania did his best to escape the brawl. Florida was busy arguing with Alabama, Georgia, and Hawaii about being daddy's favorite vacation state.

Meanwhile in the west, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, and Utah were having a good 'ol western shootout with plastic water guns. Nebraska and Missouri were busy mocking, "Bleeding Kansas!" at their sister who got a paper cut from all the paper airplanes they were throwing back and forth. Somewhere amongst the chaos, Alaska remained composed, singing,

"_I_ am the best of the Fifty Nifty United States from thirteen original colonies. Shout 'em, scout 'em, tell all about 'em, one by one, till we've given a day to every state in the good old U...S...A...!"

The curtain rolled down as the mayhem continued on stage. Busy teachers were last seen running up to the children doing whatever they could to restore peace.

The audience sat in baffled silence. Not a single one stirred.

Suddenly, America jumped up with a round of independent applause. He dropped all five of his cameras and shouted, "Yahoo! That was frickin' amazing!"

"You were great Iowa! You too New York! Aw heck, you were all great! Encore! Encore!" he chanted.

The lone American cheered totally unaware of the audience's flabbergasted atmosphere. He tapped a guy beside and pointed proudly at the stage.

"Those are my kids right there, man! Yahoo! Weren't they, like, totally awesome!"

The lad's eye bulged in astonishment and he scooted away from the enigmatic parent. A burst of murmurs erupted from the crowd about the crazy man in the front row who raised fifty rambunctious children.

.:.:.:.:.

After everyone was settled in, the children were released to their parents. Kids poured out everywhere into the auditorium greeting their parents. America was tackled by his boys, his little girls pulled at his clothes for attention.

"How'd I do, daddy?"

"You were fantastic darling," America cooed.

"Hey dad, did ya see me up there!"

"Course I did, bud. Who would miss such a good-looking face that came from his handsome father?"

"You took lotsa pictures of me, right daddy?"

"At least a thousand, sweetie. We'll send 'em all to Uncle Iggy!"

"I was, like, the best one there right, pa?"

"One out of the fifty, kiddo."

America chuckled trying to attend to each and one of them. Patting them in the back for encouragement, or kissing their messy foreheads. The kids lavished in their beloved father's affection and pushed each other out of the way to get closer to him.

"Announcing parents and children, the refreshment bar is officially open. Please come to the table and help yourselves to our delicious American food."

America and his kids perked up at the mention of food and rushed to the food area. Hamburgers and hotdogs covered each stand releasing an appetizing aroma. Best of all, were the freshly baked apple pies.

Before anybody else could get close to the food, the United family attacked the bar and wolfed down its contents. Hamburgers and hotdogs vanished in a blink of an eye as the states snatched them away from the plates. The liters of sodas were chugged down by the children and their parent leaving the plastic bottles everywhere. The freshly baked apple pies were no more as they were consumed in a godly rate by America. In a matter of three short minutes, the whole snack bar was demolished.

A blonde man with a curly ahoge off the top of his head flinched at the sight. The small, white bear in his arms stared apathetically at the scene.

"Hey look! It's Uncle Canada!" America waved cheerily at the man. Eighty heads turned to look at the man America was gesturing at. Madness laced their hungry eyes. The unsuspecting Canadian scampered off without a hint of hesitation from the scene.


End file.
